The International Drinking Rules (also sometimes called the Standard Rules, or Gentlemen’s Rules of Imbibage) may be used during any drinking game, or social gathering whose participants are aware of the rules. The rules are intentionally complex, and may be made more complex at will, such being the delightful benefit of arbitrary games.

Rules

There are a large number of variants on the rules but common ones can be divided into subcategories:

Verbal restrictions

• Nobody may utter the word “drink” or its cognates.
  • Other banned classes of word may include body parts or less sophisticated vernacular terms (example: one may “imbibe two digits of ale”, but one may not “drink two fingers of beer”).
• Nobody may use another player’s name.
  • Some versions of the rules allow the use of title and surname (e.g. “Mr. Smith”, but not “John”).
• Nobody may swear, blaspheme or sully Her Majesty The Queen.
• When accusing someone of breaking the rules, formal address must be used (example: “Forfeit, Mr. Smith, vulgar language” in the event of John Smith using the word “drink”).

 Physical restrictions

• No player may point at another player.
  • Most versions only disallow pointing with a finger - elbows are a popular alternative.
• Players must always drink using the left hand (or non-dominant hand in some cases). More complicated implementations of this rule include:
  • No pinkie finger may touch a glass (beverages must be swigged with the pinkie extended)
  • Players must use only the left hand to drink socially, and only the right to drink forfeits (or vice versa).
  • “Drinking with the clock” - players drink socially with the minute hand of the clock, and drink penalties against the minute hand. So, if the minute hand of the clock is on the left side of the clock face, the player drinks socially using his left hand, and drinks penalties or forfeits using his right hand.
• Players must “tap out” when intending to leave the table, by tapping twice on the Designated Drinking Surface.
• All glasses on the Designated Drinking Surface must be placed at least a finger’s length from the edge of the Surface; offending glasses must be emptied of their contents by the culprit for health and safety reasons.
• No empty glass may touch the Designated Drinking Surface; players who violate this rule must buy and consume another beverage immediately.
• Save The Queen: should a penny be dropped into a beverage, its owner must shout “God Save The Queen!” and consume the entire contents of the vessel as quickly as is humanly possible, in order to prevent the Sovereign’s image on the coin from “drowning”.

Special Appointments

• A player is appointed the Thumb Master. If the Thumb Master places his or her thumb on the edge of the table, all other players must do the same surreptitiously (and using the correct thumb). The last one to do so must finish his beverage, and is then appointed the new Thumb Master.
  • The new Thumb Master may, at his or her discretion and without notifying the other players, choose a different body part (e.g. foot, forehead) to put on the table.
• A player is appointed the Jive Master. If the Jive Master stands up and starts to Jive or Dance all other players must jive/dance in exactly the same manner. The last one to do so must finish his beverage, and is then appointed the new Jive Master.
• A player is appointed the Freeze Master. If the Freeze Master freezes in a specific pose all other players must also freeze in that pose. The last one to do so must finish his beverage, and is then appointed the new Freeze Master.
• A player is appointed Old Father Time, and is responsible for announcing the minute hand’s changing sides of the clock face (thus requiring the other players to change drinking hands). Traditional cries include “Drink to the left/right!” (as appropriate): this is particularly confusing as it does not actually inform the fellow players whether to drink from the declared side socially or in forfeit.
• A player is appointed Mr. President, responsible for clarifying existing rules and introducing new ones arbitrarily.
• A player is appointed Mr. Weights and Measures, responsible for enforcing forfeits and ensuring that all players have access to sufficient liquid nourishment.
  • Mr. Weights and Measures can arbitrarily command the immediate consumption of all drinks on the table at any time by calling Last Orders, although he is normally made responsible for procuring a new round. A state of Last Orders exists even if Mr. Weights and Measures mentioned the phrase only in passing, without the intention of declaring it officially.
    • After calling Last Orders, the office of Mr. Weights and Measures passes to his left.

Forfeits

The penalty for breaking a rule is inevitably to drink a hearty swig of ale (or agreed equivalent). An extension of this (known as Prisoner’s Rules) is that one or both of those sitting directly next to the rule breaker must also drink the penalty. More severe crimes against etiquette can incur the finishing of one’s current drink, the purchase and consumption of an entirely new drink, or harsher still, the finishing of one’s current drink followed immediately by the complete consumption of a subsequent drink.

Falsely accusing another player of breaching etiquette is considered extremely bad form, and concordantly often results in a harsh punishment.

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